From: Peter Kraneveld

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down
inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
From: Mike Van Pelt

What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from
realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common
laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
From: Philip Hallstrom

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed
of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped from a helicopter.
From: John Switzer

"If you ask me, Larry, the Clinton Presidency has failed. What has
he done? Nothing!"
From: Darren S. Embry

"No matter how much you love your spouse, eventually the smooth,
unblemished surface of your relationship will be marred by a small
pimple of anger, which, if ignored, can grow into a major festering
zit of rage that will explode and spew forth a really disgusting
metaphor that I do not wish to pursue any further here."
From: travis jensen

USER, n.:
"The word computer professionals
use when they mean 'idiot'."
From: Ronald van Loon

Consider this: In the United States, an automobile is stolen
EVERY 14.7 SECONDS. If that statistic scares you, think how
we felt when we made it up.
From: Toby Martin

"My current computer, in addition to 'DOS,' has 'Windows,' which is another
invention of Bill Gates, designed as a security measure to thwart those
users who are somehow able to get past 'DOS.'"

Other quotes